Mera Joy Aniolga

Of Belongingness and Beyond….

In Boredom, Event, Money, Personal on April 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm

To be out-of-place in the midst of people you know for years is a strange feeling.  Considering the fact that I am a very talkative, the feeling of being “out-of-place” is foreign to me. But they were gambling last night and  don’t know a thing about gambling.

“I gamble with life and not with my money”

I have been living with this adage for quite a while. This works for me as I’m a cheap skate. I don’t want to spend my money over  things which I can’t use, eat or wear.

Last night, we went at George’s house, it was his granny’s wake. Wake in the Philippines is synonymous to gambling, most especially at night. The main reason why I went there was to catch up with my old friends and the free food of course. I would be a hypocrite to say I went there for the old lady, I didn’t even know her personally. Her grandson was a classmate, a schoolmate and a friend, we’re related because of George.

My boyfriend of 5 years is a quiet type of guy. Yes we’re opposites. He is not the type to open up easily. He knows my friends by name and by stories that I tell him but he is still as shy as the first time he met them the moment there are get-together, parties and reunions. I make it a point to be with him so as not to make him feel out-of-place.

It’s not as if my friends were snobs, it’s just that my boyfriend is a shy type of guy. If he were an animal he’d be a turtle.

Anyway, a friend from college texted me while I was at the wake, she wants to borrow extra cash and she was waiting for me outside. I told my boyfriend that I need to meet up with her outside. In my mind, I was expecting him to say, “Okay, I’ll come with you.”. Imagine my surprise when he didn’t even bother to stand or look up from his cards. He just said, “Yes, be back soon.”.

My boyfriend may be shy, but he is a natural-born gambler. Gambling for him is like alcohol, it makes him loosen up.

I was glad that finally he was comfortable with me leaving him alone with my friends. After getting back from the errand, I spent the rest of the night watching them play, feeling out-of-place as I don’t know a thing. I suggested we play “amo-amo” (amo is the local term for monkey) but the game was too childish for them.

So there I was feeling out-of-place in between long time friends and long term boyfriend. Ironic, strange and weird. I wonder if this is how George’s grandma feels seeing people she does not even know in her wake. But she’s dead as a doornail and if there is no life after death, I guess it would just have to be me and my “feeling out of place” in the midst of friends and strangers who are dealing and outsmarting each other all in the name of money.

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