Mera Joy Aniolga

Love Child

In Family, Personal on August 4, 2011 at 7:16 am

To be conceived outside of marriage is to either be a love child or an “anak sa pagkadalaga or binata”. If your parents decide to tie the knot or at least live together, you become the former. If they decide to go on with their single lives and marry other people or not marry at all, you become the latter.

I belong to the former, a love child. Back when I was younger, I used to be so proud of the fact that I am my parent’s love child. That if not for me, they would have not been together. That my sister who was born 10 years after me was born out of hobby or something like that.The label, love child made me feel more special. But as I got older, I started to see my love child-ness  in a different perspective.

My parents had me when they were in their 20’s. My father was 23 while my mother was 26. Yes, my mom’s a cougar! I am 25 now, a college graduate working and earning enough for myself. I travel once in a while, I meet up with my friends on weekends and is in a happy and long-term relationship but I don’t see myself getting married or at least settling down at this age. 25 for me is just too young and even if my boyfriend means the world to me, I am not just ready.

Compared to my parents, I have a better life. I finished college while they were both drop-outs. I traveled here and there while my mother’s travel is limited to that of Manila, and the Visayan Region. My father used to be in the army so he got to travel but its job related, my travels are all for pleasure.

Yes, my life is easier and better compared to theirs but at this age, I would feel cheated if a love child comes my way. I think I would even blame that child for stealing the chances and opportunities that may come my way. My father had better chances but he gave it all up because of me, the freaking love child. My mother had better opportunities too but she gave it all up because of me, the freaking love child.

When my mother got knocked up, her former boss in Manila offered to take her in. The boss  who I suppose is gay is willing to help my mother. The plan was that my mother will stay with her boss until she gives birth to me and after that she can work for him and he will babysit me. Another option for my mother would be to marry this old man who owns a mall or something like that in Recto. He was as old as my mother’s grandfather, that’s what she said. Heck, if I were in her place, I probably would have grabbed it  as the old man does not mind my mother’s state, pregnant with me.

My father on the other hand had to give up his dreams of becoming an army officer after I was born because I got sick every time he is away. At 23, he was a college drop out because he punched his professor. He taught himself how to drive as he does not know any legal means of supporting his soon to be family. In the 80’s weed are the thing, my father would have been rich because he used to have a plantation at the back of his parent’s empty lot but my mother did not approve of it. Considering that my father has a green thumb, I think we’d really be rich if my mother only approved of my father’s plantation.

They were never a couple,  I owe my existence  to my mom’s religious upbringing. She could have had aborted me but she didn’t. I could have been an anak sa pagkadalaga but she made me a love child instead.  The things that my parents have to give up because of me are no joke. The adage you owe everything to your parents has a deeper meaning to me. I do not only owe my life from them but I also stole their lives away from them.

I am thankful but at the same time I feel guilty. I just can’t help feeling that way. Two people who may have committed a mistake out of drunkenness, a dare or could it be that my father raped my mother? LOL. I think my father is in love with my mother this is why the idea of rape comes to my mind. Prior to my father, my mother used to have a long term boyfriend. But you see, my mother is a devout catholic, she imprisoned herself with the belief that marriage is sacred, abortion is a crime and that she must give it all up because she was pregnant with the most amazing person in the world. (Kidding!) Don’t get me wrong, I was raised in a happy home where we would go to the beach, eat out, my father would laugh ala Santa during Christmas and the like. This is what makes me feel bad even more as they did it all because of me.

You see my father is the typical  guy, by typical I meant the typical characters of Fernando Poe, Bong Revilla and the like in the movies. He is respected in our places, he wears Levis 501, Topsiders, White Hanes Shirt and an Aviator.  He can be the “Robin Hood” of the Slums. My mother on the other hand is a devout catholic who wants to have religious husband. Their characteristics, personality and goals differ. I am their only thing in common. Oh shoot I forgot, I have sister. That makes the 2 of us their something in common.

Its weird how it works. The two people whom I love to the moon are the two people whom I caused “eternal” suffering. The gifts that I give them during Father’s day, Mother’s day, Christmases and Birthdays can not amount to the sacrifice that they had because of me. I imagine their sacrifice to be worst, love makes things bearable but they are not a couple to start with. I think my father was in love so things were bearable for him but I think it was my mother who suffered the most, emotionally suffered that is.

No, I am not my parent’s love child. I am the thief. I stole their freedom, their choices and their options.And yes, this is the reason why I am Pro-RH Bill.


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