Mera Joy Aniolga

Old Maid at 25

In Family, Personal on August 26, 2011 at 2:37 am

At 25, I feel like an old maid. Don’t get me wrong, I am in a relationship and I don’t have a child out-of-wedlock. If civil status in legal papers is to be considered, I am single in every essence of the word. If you base it on social networks, then I’ m in a Relationship.

It’s not that I feel bad about being single. I feel so blessed, I feel ecstatic and I have always been thankful to the fact that I get to live my life in a way that I want. No child to think of, no tuition fees to worry about and so on.

Early this morning, my mother told me about my cousin who just gave birth. She is five years younger than I am. She just graduated last March. My mother who is fond of putting two and two together is very disappointed in her niece as she was already pregnant when she graduated five months ago.

This cousin from the mother side is the third niece in the family. I am the first girl granddaughter, 25 and as I’ve said, single. The second granddaughter who is three years younger than I am is married twice, it’s the same man that she married twice. Church and civil wedding is what I am talking about. They have two kids now. The third granddaughter is the one who just gave birth. She graduated as Summa Cum Laude in their school.

Last March, the rest of the family was just so proud of her. My mom claims about the “smartness gene” coming from them. Now, everyone is disappointed in her. I think so, I mean I can see the disappointment in my mom’s face when she told me about it. I imagine the same disappointment from the siblings of my mother, most especially my uncles, my cousins father.

On my father side, I am the 4th granddaughter. All three cousins who are ahead of me are now married. The first one married after her debut, 18th birthday. The next one married while she was still in college thus she quit school. The third one is now married, unlike the first two she was older when she decided to tie the knot and it was not because she’s knocked up. Unlike the other two who got hitched because their bellies are growing bigger and bigger each day.

At 25, I feel like an old maid in our family. An old maid who has seen the world. An old maid who travelled. I may not have the fulfillment that they have, you know the stuff about motherhood that they are talking about but at least I got to enjoy my singleness. I pity these cousins. It’s not as if they have better life as we belong to the middle-lower class. ( You know, lower-lower class, middle-lower class, upper-lower class, lower middle class, middle-middle class, upper middle class and so on.)

I feel sorry for these cousins but most of all I feel terrible for their children. Well not really all of their children just the elder ones who one day may wake up and realize that it’s not just virginity that their mothers lost because of them but more. They lost their lives and an early age, they lost the opportunities that may have come their way.

But then again, I can see that their mothers (my cousins) are in love with their dads. Love might really make things different for them. I hope it does.

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  1. wow. can i say this is coincidence? hi there! 🙂 my name’s also merajoy (one word though). i’m 19 and i came across your blog while googling for my name. it so happens that our family, or like, our cousins have nearly the same fate, or should i say, situations today. well, it’s just that we are years behind you.

    i feel like, while my cousins are all “having fun” with their babies and husbands or husbands-to-be, i’m being left out or forgotten by cupid! haven’t had a boyfriend ever since. suitors would come one day, then disappear the next day! they would tell me, they were afraid of me.. how’s that? i was really able to relate with this post. really. 🙂

    i got so interested with your posts ’cause they can tell that you are really smart. shall i then conclude, modesty aside, that merajoys are truly smart.. don’t you agree? well, you might not agree with me yet ’cause we haven’t seen or known each other. no worries. i’m just a fan.. no spammer, no hacker whatsoever here! 🙂

    i might as well bookmark your blog site. well, i do that for recreation or entertainment purposes.. reading other people’s opinions, knowing about their experiences, and maybe learning from them, too. 🙂

    so, i think this comment has gone overboard. thank you mr. serendipity for making me stumble into this amazing blog site. 🙂 looking forward for more witty and “relatable” posts from you ms. mera joy aniolga.. God bless 🙂

  2. @Jenna: Thanks.

    @MERAJOY: Try looking for other MERAJOYs in Facebook. There are a lot more of them/us there.

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